Finding Sunshine Within
How do we figure out life? I mean really let's take a moment and think about this...
School teaches us the fundamental mechanics of how to navigate careers, and how to wager, play hardball and survive in the cut-throat world of work and success, but the entirety of lives from birth to adulthood are spent preparing for life as working adults who can positively contribute to society and very few realize that emotional health is just as important.
Well for me after about twenty-two years of worrying myself to pieces over being a prepared, responsible adult, it all got old--emotionally anyways. I got to the point where I was just functioning in my everyday life, and like many people, I was terribly unhappy. There were not enough pep-talks in the world that I could give myself about accomplishing my degree, working in my field, or being an independent "educated black woman" that would make me emotionally satisfied with my life.
Soooo I did the unthinkable. I bought a sketch pad and drew a huge divide to dissect my life amongst the positive and the negative. I wrote down everything I could think of over a 30 day period; from people to places, to things and what I found was astonishing. I was surrounded by things and people that were stressful.
I had to make one of the hardest decisions I have ever made; whether to hold onto what society deemed necessary in my life, or to figure out what would solidify my happiness emotionally.
I did the "big chop", and for my naturals out there I don't mean my hair, but to almost all of the negative around me. I realized that it was up to me to find the happiness within myself before I could see it in the things around me.
The initial step for me was to let go of perfection. I had to realize that self-perfection was unattainable. I wouldn't always have time to apply the perfect makeup or coif the perfect hairstyle. I didn't always feel like wearing the perfect outfit. I couldn't be down on myself for not being the perfect weight, size, or shape and though as a woman these are demons we face on a weekly, if not daily basis I have gotten to the point where I can still be happy with me without any of it!
There are some things life can only teach you through experience and for me learning to be my own happiness is a journey, not a destination. It's a fight I refuse to loose. Just remember that nothing should ever be more important than your happiness! Remember to love yourself first!
Work every day towards accepting every part of who you are. Let me know what your happiness routine consists of below!
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”